My friend, you are treacherous...

It is a difficult thing for me to keep a friend longer than a few years. It is, however, very easy for me to befriend those that I come in contact with. It just takes a few simple words and an easy-going attitude. Finding things in common with other people might take a little more effort than saying hello but it is not an insurmountable task. It is like a rolling hill, larger than one built by ants but not nearly as daunting to climb as a mountain. What I find, though, is that following said hill is the looming mountain which seemed so far off when you first laid eyes on it.

This is where the difficulty begins. Sure, the first 50 or so feet are a breeze and I assume that the rest of the climb will be just as uneventful. Then, I run into a problem: I cannot find a hand- or foot-hold, the outcropping begins to jag and sharpen, and I, inevitably, decide to check out the view. Big mistakes that love to reoccur. Everything that seemed so effortless in the beginning now took 10 times as much work and pressure. Where activities were randomly selected (more often for their convenient location and timeliness), they are now planned ahead days, weeks, sometimes months in advance.

That is usually the biggest deterrent for me: the planning. Too many things have to be taken into consideration: who are you going to invite? Where is the planned venue? Will they enjoy the event you chose? Will there be money involved? If yes, how much should be brought? And, when is the event scheduled for? Now, due to everybody's constantly transforming and mutating hectic schedules, it is near impossible to plan events that every one you would love to be there can get to. One person's got a project due that week; someone else's exams just began; they're washing their hair that night; and, my all-time favourite, they just don't have the time. Then, there are other complications like lack of fundage or transportation, which compounds an already unplannable plan. And, most times, the outcome does not trump the preparation. In most of my cases, my plans bomb and every leaves feeling a little cheated, at the least like they wasted their time.

It truly is unfortunate because there are a lot of really good people that I've known that I've just left behind (names don't exactly leap out at me but they are there). If only I had decided that I would jump through hoops to keep these people in my life. If only I wasn't so lazy, was more concerned about my past friends' lives, maybe they'd still be around. My sister mentioned that if not for her and our brother, I'd be lonely. I seriously hope that it is not true...