She's done it to me once again; She's left me mindless with no thoughts except those of her. I am certain that she did not do it on purpose but no matter, for what is done is done and there is no escaping it, regardless of how earnest I try. She creeps in my mind ever silently, ever constantly. When I don't think of her is when she occupies my mind the most. Every thought uninvolved with her and devoid of her are the very thoughts that make me wonder how can they involve her.
And yet, she knows not of the feelings I hold inside for her. She is oblivious of any inkling, unaware of any intentions. She does not see it when she looks at me. Is that such a positive thing? Do I want to let her know or am I willing to give away? Yearning for her, but never taking any action? I understand that the timing is not right, that it is the wrong moment to divulge anything to her. Her mind is occupied by other thoughts such as school, work, family, and her friends. I need not add to the things that currently burden her mind. What sort of person would I be if I commit such an act of disregard? It would be nothing more than a setup to my own demise.
Who knows, maybe I will tell her, maybe I won't. But, no matter what I decide, it will have to wait until she is done with school. With school over she no longer have any essays to write, assignments to complete, or deadlines to meet. Such news might distract her and detract her from her goals, but it will not affect anything of import to her future. Furthermore, I will seek the opinions of the individuals I value most. They will help me decide whether what I am willing to do is sound or folly. I will say one final thing: I am ready to have my heart broken; I am ready to be rejected; I am ready to lose a friend. If these will be the results due to the acts I am about to commit, then I am ready. Bring on the pain and suffering, the sleepless nights and lonely mornings, for I am ready and willing and waiting...
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