And, they're off...

I was speaking to Susanna the other evening because she was trying to get a hold of Cecilia and I was apparently the one who knew how to get a hold of her (where did this assumption come from?). She was sort of correct, in a way: I knew where Cecilia was, I just didn't know how to get a hold of her. See, Cecilia visits her friend, Sally, every Wednesday to help out with Sally's business. Most times she ends up staying pretty late. The problem was that Cecilia was missing her cell phone and I had no idea what Sally's number would be. So, there was just no way I could get a hold of Cecilia. While we were on the phone, however, Susanna and I just started talking. I told her who I currently had feelings for, because I had not told her, allegedly...What a surprise it was to her that it turned out to be Cecilia.

We got to talking about other things as well, but, obviously, it was the parts about Cecilia that I remembered most. Susanna's problems were never really new; it was just sort of things that she had to learn from and work through. That's not to say that I didn't listen to her; on the contrary, I listened very, very well. Susanna had thought that I was attracted to Julia, which is a little preposterous, frankly. Not that Julia is not a great girl; she's one of my better friends, but me and Julia? I can't really see how that would work. Plus, she's really happy with Lawrence, which is great. I guess Cecilia is not the person most people would see me liking. If I told more people, they would be equally surprised because I just don't show any obvious interest.

The situation, though, is getting more interesting. Just last week, she confronted me about something that had went on while she and Julia were not on speaking terms. I had told Julia that she had the right to be angry with Cecilia because Cecilia had started losing touch with Julia, and had been doing so for some time. Cecilia was apparently hurt by this comment of mine because while she and Julia were fighting, I was trying to be Cecilia's friend, knowing full well of the predicament she was in. I personally felt that it was not my place to come between them and patch things up between them, but I still wanted to be her friend. That is why I did what I did. I didn't apologize for what I had said because I believe that what I had said was in no way wrong: Julia did have the right to be mad at Cecilia. Cecilia, however, could not admit that she was hurt and wanted me to apologize to her, which was fine because I was not going to apologize. The night ended very well despite of the confrontation she presented to me. Hopefully, we know each other a little better.

As the days go by, I find it harder and harder to find a time to tell her that I have feelings for her. She's slowly slipping from my mind (as are many other people) and pretty soon I won't remember to call her or speak to her...I will resolve to do it soon...because if I don't then I will never do it...